The importance of kindness

The most used word

This week I’ve had several reminders of the central importance of kindness.  I’m grateful for those reminders because  kindness is so needed right now.

First, I read an article that shared the results of a computer program which analyzed two hundred years of the written word, asking the question ‘what has been the most commonly used word over that time period’?

The answer was ‘kind’.  I found this uplifting, that even though we may not always be expressing kindness to ourselves and others, it appears that we at least are able to speak about it!

The Man in the Parking Lot

Then last Sunday at dusk, I parked in the library lot anticipating a leisurely walk along the lake.  A gentleman approached me and pointed to his van where his family, his wife and 4 children, were gathered round unable to get into the vehicle.

“My daughter locked the keys inside”, he said, “Do you have anything in your car I could use to open it? “We’re here from Toronto and it’s getting dark and cold.”  

I’m not quite sure he was in the headspace to appreciate my quip that I had a golf club if he wanted to use that!   I drove home to grab some wire hangers and pliers, gave them to him and went off for my walk.

Unfortunately, when I returned he hadn’t been successful, so I called my auto club and they came and solved the problem. (Side note – took all of 30 seconds. Amazing what can happen when you have the right tools and skill.  Sort of like Conscious EFT and stress management, right?)

I needed to stay around for the auto club but as soon as the van was opened,  I was no longer needed and headed back to my car.  This is actually when I was asked to be kind.  Even though I just wanted to get home, I could see the man and woman running to my car and I realized that kindness required me to roll down the window and accept their effusive appreciation.

Honestly, I thought they were going to adopt me as their fifth child!  But, I recognized that there is an energetic flow to kindness which is strongest when a cycle of connection has been made and respected.

What if my escaping before that cyclical flow was established through their expressing of thanks would have weakened both them and I, and maybe even the world?  I believe it would.

Power of Receiving

This reminded me of something that I often suggest when I am counselling parents with young children.  How very important it is to actively receive your children’s love when they are young, to acknowledge it and let them see how it impacts you, how it touches you.

This is how they learn the power of their love.  And I believe that it teaches them the importance of kindness.

When my now adult son was young I was blessed to find a poster of the golden rule – showing twelve different spiritual pathways – all coming from a common belief in the central importance of kindness.

The words differed from path to path but the common message was “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

I would want the family in the van to provide help if I needed it, AND I would want them to receive my appreciation for their help.  Both, And.  Not Either, Or.

As we navigate the potential challenges of the next few months, let us be open to both sides of the kindness cycle.  Open to being the beneficiary of acts of kindness and the recipients of expressions of appreciation for those acts of kindness.