Guest Blog – Karen Raymond I came into into this world a happy soul, honestly, I did! And at 45 years old, I feel like I have come full circle, returning to that happy, joyful state. I’m quirky, I’m imaginative, I’m creative, and sometimes people don’t get me, but I am so OK with myself, that I don’t feel the pressure to fit into anyone’s mold of how they would be prefer me to be.
I know what being in alignment feels like and I know what it feels like when I am bowing to the pressure of others – for me, being out of alignment is a very, very uncomfortable feeling. It manifests itself as depression, sadness, anxiety and sometimes even physical pain
It was in grade 4 when somebody realized that something was off with me. When I first started school, I had a few experiences that knocked me out alignment. A few experiences that rendered me unkind and manipulative, the opposite of my natural state of being kind and considerate. Experiences that taught me to be tough and mean, the opposite my true self, which was kind and sensitive.
By grade 4, I was so out of whack, functioning in the world in a way that was the polar opposite of who I wanted to be, that I sunk into a depression. I don’t remember this word being used then.
My teacher called my parents, concerned that I seemed very sad. My parents shared his concern and made an appointment with our family doctor. This was my first mental health intervention, and it is an important one, because it set the stage for how I would view my emotions and the state of my mental health over the course of the next 30+ years.
In retrospect, the doctor meant no harm. This was in the very early 80’s and there wasn’t much dialogue on depression back then. My doctor was an older man, who I had seen up to that point for earaches and sore throats. He also knew my parents and held them in high esteem.
When my folks brought me in for this case of “sadness”, his message was very clear to me. I had nothing to be sad about. I was a very lucky little girl who had everything a kid could ask for. He added that I should be ashamed of myself for worrying my parents with these sad feelings.
And there it is. The shame was introduced.
No invitation to talk about the sad feelings, how they came about, where I was feeling them and what might make me feel better. No opportunity to release negative emotions and lift the burden a bit. No chance to explore these feelings and how to cope with or even lift them. Instead, shame.
Shame was added to the sadness.
Over the years, subsequent interventions with medical and mental health professionals were also lacking, and I had quite a few of them. Don’t get me wrong, some of them very likely saved me from more damage, and some served as band-aids, just to get me through the day. Some were quite damaging though, doing more harm than good, even re-traumatizing me.
Every time I would see a new counselor, therapist, doctor, I walked in with a core belief that I should be ashamed of what I was feeling. Ashamed because life is good, and I was wasting people’s time with my uncomfortable feelings.
I learned very early on to tell people what I thought they wanted to hear, completely disassociating myself from any emotions I had related to the issues I was dealing with, and lead them to believe that I was fine, fixed, even grateful for their attention.
It was only when I was introduced to EFT that I felt any kind of relief and hope.
After one session with a certified EFT practitioner, I felt more relief than I had ever felt. I wasn’t “fixed” after one session, but I could feel myself open to the possibility of change – that my story could change.
Over the course of three years using EFT and other energy healing modalities, I have been able to reconnect with the happy, joyful part of me and challenge anything that compromises that natural state of mine. I also learned to love myself enough to insist on staying in alignment.
There are a few differences between traditional mental health interventions (that I did not respond to), and EFT:
1) EFT is gentle – it never goes where you don’t want to go. In my experience, some mental health professionals did force me to go where I wasn’t ready to go, which only created more stress for my system.
2) Sometimes it felt like others just weren’t listening, or didn’t care, or were overwhelmed by me. I know with a certified experienced EFT practitioner, I am working with someone who does care, is listening, and that they have the tools for their own self-care if I am overwhelming them.
3) I feel physical shifts with EFT. When I am working on something and clear it, I can actually physically feel it happening in my body. I can feel my body relaxing. I can feel negative energy leaving my body, making room for good stuff to come in.
4) For me, the best part is checking in on the issue that was bothering me and finding the emotions around it being completely neutralized. With traditional talk therapy, I never felt the emotion lifting. I could talk about something until I was blue in the face, but the emotions always stayed the same, I couldn’t shake them, which ultimately stopped me from moving forward in any way.
5) Using EFT and Matrix Reimprinting (another incredibly effect form of energy medicine) allows you to do detective work when you don’t know what is bothering you, or why something is bothering you. It gets to you to a state of safety and relaxation that allows your system to deliver clues to you.
The whole doctor story in grade 4 that I just told you about, came to me during a very powerful combined EFT/Matrix Reimprinting session with my mentor from the National EFT Training Institute, Nancy Forrester . I had no idea that this anger and ultimately shame was living inside of me, informing so many choices and experiences in my life.
In about 45 minutes, it was all released and opened the door for me to do more healing around other mental and medical health interventions that were not positive experiences for me.
I have a few takeaways that I want you to consider after reading this:
1) If you are a parent and your child is seeing someone for their mental health, please be sure to check in with them to make sure that they are being heard and having a positive experience. It’s ok to shop around!
2) If you have had similar experiences to mine and always held a belief that doctor’s know best, please know that you can also shop around and you can challenge any limiting beliefs that you may have taken on as a result of of any of your experiences.
3) Keep an open mind to mind/body medicine modalities like EFT. I write this with an open heart and deep desire for anyone who is suffering, who feels like they have tried everything, to find relief.
This article was first shared on Karen’s website eftpeacefulrebel.ca
Thank you for sharing your experience Karen Raymond.