You are on my heart and mind today.
Last week, amongst the many, many caring and pleasant interactions I had, I had a phone conversation with someone in a human services role who, for whatever reason, was unable to treat me kindly. It was a bit of a shock, actually. Confusing, even – since her job was literally to be kind to the client.
But that experience sparked some thoughts – ones that I know are well worth repeating, especially in this moment in our world. Perhaps you need to hear them today?
Because the truth is, when someone who is meant to offer care can’t extend even basic kindness, it’s not always about skill or intent. More often, it’s about capacity.
Burnout Isn’t a Personal Failing – It’s a Capacity Issue
It takes an enormous amount of capacity to show up for another human being with presence, warmth, and care. To listen. To hold space. To be affected by another person’s experience and not become lost in it.
But capacity isn’t static. It shifts and changes based on what’s happening in your life and the world around you. Some days, you’re fueled up, moving with ease. Other days, even the simplest tasks feel exhausting. If we don’t recognize this shift, we risk running on empty before we even realize what’s happening.
And when we run out of capacity, we don’t just lose access to kindness—we lose access to ourselves.
Beyond Work Burnout: When Life Itself Runs on Fumes
There was a time, 35 years ago, when my capacity reached zero. No gas in the tank. No backup reserves. My system simply shut down. What the world might call a “nervous breakdown,” I now see as a breakthrough. A moment of reckoning.
I realized that the way I had structured my life—how I worked, how I gave, how I carried the weight of responsibility—was not sustainable. It wasn’t just my workload that had drained me; it was the way I related to everything in my life. My entire way of being needed to shift.
And the biggest realization?
I thought my intelligence protected me from my humanity. I believed if I just understood enough, I could override my own limitations. But the truth is, leaning on intelligence to avoid feeling our own humanity is a deeply exhausting strategy. And eventually, it fails.
What Drains Your Capacity? (It’s Not Just Your Workload)
Your capacity isn’t just about how many clients you see. It’s affected by everything that adds stress to your nervous system, including:
The weight of the world – Wars, political division, climate change, economic instability – whether we acknowledge it or not, it impacts us.
Personal stress – Grief, financial worries, relationship struggles, illness – your system is processing it all.
Work environment – A lack of support, unrealistic expectations, or a toxic workplace can be major energy drains.
Unresolved personal trauma – Old wounds don’t disappear just because we’re practitioners. If they’re unprocessed, they take up space.
Protective strategies – Perfectionism, over-responsibility, and people-pleasing might have helped you survive in childhood, but they drain capacity in adulthood.
Lack of restoration – If you’re not actively refueling, you’re coasting on fumes before you even begin.
None of this means you’re not good at what you do. It just means you’re human.
Checking Your Tank: Are You Running Low?
Just like a car gives you warning signs when you’re low on fuel, your body and mind do too.
⚠️ You feel exhausted before the day even starts.
⚠️ You find yourself avoiding work or numbing out with food, alcohol, or screens.
⚠️ You feel resentful, cynical, or checked out with clients.
⚠️ You have trouble focusing or feel detached from the work you once loved.
⚠️ Your body is speaking—headaches, inflammation, disrupted sleep.
These aren’t signs of weakness. They’re signs that your system needs more fuel.
Refueling Before You Break Down
Running on empty doesn’t just happen because we’re busy. It happens when we’re not actively refilling our tank. So how do we refuel?
⛽ Notice your gauge. How full is your tank today? Where are you pushing past your limits?
⛽ Let go of the extra weight. Are you carrying clients’ struggles home with you? Are you taking responsibility for things that aren’t yours? Release what you can.
⛽ Make rest non-negotiable. Restoration isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. Prioritize whatever fills your tank, whether it’s movement, stillness, creativity, or connection.
⛽ Challenge the competency burden. You are not required to sacrifice yourself to prove your worth. Your value is not measured by how much you give.
This Work is Meant to Bring You Joy – Don’t Settle for Less
If you’ve been running on fumes for so long that joy feels like a distant memory, I want you to hear this: You are meant for more than just getting through the day.
You are meant for joy.
And not just in small, fleeting moments, but in your work, in your relationships, in the simple pleasures of being alive. When you are well-resourced, when your tank is full, you are not only at your best – you are offering your greatest gift to the world.
And here’s the beautiful part: The way you refuel is uniquely yours.
Maybe your tank gets filled by dancing in your kitchen to 80s music. Maybe it’s long walks in the woods, eating a croissant that’s indescribably good, or spending an afternoon binging the trashiest reality show you can find (Temptation Island perhaps?). Maybe it’s deep conversations, time alone, or curling up with a book that has absolutely nothing to do with self-improvement.
Whatever it is – it matters because you matter.
Give yourself permission to receive it. To need it. To celebrate it.
Because the world doesn’t just need more healers. It needs more thriving human beings.
With care,
Nancy
If you’re ready to move from running on fumes to feeling truly resourced again – start here.
Our Conscious EFT Audio Series was created with you in mind: the practitioner, the caregiver, the human being who gives so much and sometimes forgets to receive.
This simple, grounding series will walk you through foundational practices to refill your tank – not by pushing through, but by reconnecting with your inner capacity and restoring your nervous system gently.
✨ No overwhelm. Just small, doable steps toward feeling like yourself again. ✨