Hang on, we’re going for a bit of a wild ride in this article! Somehow, I’m going to connect our Conscious EFT™ framework to my experience last week of replacing the seat on my toilet. Yep – I’m going there.
I’m sure you’ve had the experience multiple times of hearing a toilet seat slam. Lots of reasons why toilet seats slam, aren’t there? You might even have had multiple conversations with certain people about changing their behaviour in order that the toilet seat no longer slams?
It’s loud and unexpected. It’s a JOLT to the nervous system. It sends our biology into a defensive reaction, fight or flight or maybe even freeze. Even as I talk about this your imagination is likely re-enacting the sound. Perhaps you’re even re-experiencing the bracing that happens in your body. Unpleasant.
Tap with me a little bit …
Set Up Phrase: Even though my body is reacting as if there is danger in this moment I’m willing to recognize that everything is okay right now and I love and accept myself fully.
Reminder Phrases: everything is okay, I’m safe in this moment, safe to breath, safe to relax, all is okay, no danger now, safe to relax, all is well.
In my opinion, traditional therapy/coaching can be a lot like a toilet seat slamming. Diving into traumatic experiences from the past before the nervous system is ready and has capacity to process that information will be received by the biology as a jolt, a threat. It will naturally activate the fight or flight defences. And since the client is not likely to recognize what’s happening consciously or even know to ask for something different, their biology may actually retreat into dorsal dominance, increasing the shutdown of the freeze system. Even though this is exactly the opposite of what the practitioner intended, biology will always take precedence.
So last weekend my toilet seat broke off from its hinges, it was clear that it needed to be replaced. I was quickly aware of what we call in Conscious EFT™, my Phase 1 reactions:
I shouldn’t have to deal with these kinds of things.
This is going to be too hard for me to fix.
I’ll get half way through this and then it will be too much for me.
It will cost so much money to have someone fix this.
I could feel the emotional anger, overwhelm and frozenness as I entered into one of my favoured behavioural strategies – procrastination. Can you hear the core trauma beliefs? I am all alone with this. Nobody cares about me.
Fortunately, there was enough healthy energy in my system to convince me to sit down and use Conscious EFT protocols to work through the Phase 1 low vibration energy. As I did so, the fear and overwhelm released and my system naturally sparked into what we call Phase 4 energy.
I was able to set an Intention of ‘having an easy, pleasant and efficient experience of replacing the toilet seat.’ As I shifted into higher vibration, clarity surfaced and I remembered that I could watch a YouTube video and also google where to find a replacement seat close to me. Thank you, Canadian Tire!
I also remembered the authentic truth that ‘I am supported’ and ‘I am competent’. Powerful beliefs that support an empowered relationship with myself, the world and with Source. I remembered that I come from a family lineage of plumbers and that even though they are no longer in physical form, I could call on their eternal wisdom to guide me. There I was, arms raised to the heavens, asking for support from an entire community of plumbing angels!
Well, I was shocked at how easily this task unfolded. I’ve never had so much support from staff at Canadian Tire. The seat I wanted to buy was hanging way up far beyond my reach, but there was one single one sitting on the counter below. Waiting for me. The cashier was pleasant, we shared a laugh about toilet seats. And when I got home the old seat came off, the new one went on without a single tear shed. That’s a big milestone for me. Such an indication of my increased capacity to live life with pleasure and joy. In years past this experience would have been way outside my Window of Joy, full of chaos and overwhelm, and much procrastination.
This was a powerful ‘corrective emotional experience’ for me. A release of past trauma energy that led to the initial Phase 1 reactivity. With Conscius EFT™ tapping, that expanded into post trauma growth with Phase 4 responsivity. Phase 4 reinforced powerful beliefs of who I truly am, how I am constantly loved and supported and what is possible for me when I align with that energy.
Phase 4 is an opening to miracles! To an experience of life that is delightful and often unexpectedly pleasurable. That’s what happened in my toilet seat replacement experience. I finished the job and tested how the seat was working. Here’s where you watch the little video! Look! It’s a non slammable toilet seat! I didn’t even know such things existed. I certainly hadn’t specifically looked for one. I was, and still am, so delighted by this.
That’s what Conscious EFT™ therapy/coaching is like. It is a gentle process, proceeding at an appropriate pace for the unique nervous system we are working with. It is intentional, it knows exactly where it is going. The practitioner doesn’t direct the process, the wisdom of the client’s biology leads the way. Both client and practitioner learn to trust that. The transformational journey isn’t ‘slamming’, retraumatizing, rather it is gentle, pleasant, naturally driven learning and expansion.
Thanks for coming on this journey with me. Wishing you many pleasant enjoyable life experiences.
Nancy